Claire was up. Up and crying. Up and fussing. Up and screaming. Up and rolling over. I told myself I would NOT pick her up. I went it after 15 minutes around 3 am and gave her the paci, let her hold my hand and she calmed down for a second and back to crying/screaming. I left the room. It was so very hard, but I knew it was the night to do it because it's Sunday today and I didn't NEED to be 100% refreshed. So at 2:15ish I went back in again, this time to flip her back to her back and give her the paci. Screams were louder and harder to calm down, so I left. by 2:45 she was almost calmed down and it took me one more time to just stick the paci in her mouth for her to fall out completely.
It was so very hard to listen to her.
I knew I could comfort her quickly, and I didn't. What a terrible, selfish mom.
I tried to wake Tim after the third time, when I thought she down (oops) for good to tell him how proud of myself I was, but he grumbled and rolled the other way.
At 5:30 am she woke crying...of course now I would feed her. She was thrilled, happy to see me, happy I picked her up, just happy!
She nursed and played in my arms a little...then went back to bed, without a fight!
As she woke at 7:30 for the day with the biggest smile! It melted my heart. I brought her in our bed, only to have daddy roll over and say,"Claire, you were so good last night." What??? I think he meant,"Mom."
No comments:
Post a Comment